If you’re a Riverdale fan, odds are you follow @colesprouse on Instagram. Between his aesthetic camera skills, celebrity friends and world travels, Sprouse wows his followers with every post. However, he also runs a lesser-known account that hilariously mocks the public’s fascination with celebrities, specifically himself. At 4.4 million followers, @camera_duels is certainly no hidden secret but, compared to Sprouse’s main account which racks in 17 million followers, it’s significantly farther from the spotlight. With that in mind, as well as the pure genius behind this social media treasure, I deem @camera_duels worthy of more attention.

As explained by Sprouse in the bio, “This instagram is dedicated to the people out there who secretly take photos of me, and how I take photos of them first. May the fastest camera win.” While the photos themselves are occasionally comedic, they aren’t usually too impressive. What makes this account so entertaining is Sprouse’s witty, often lengthy, and sometimes cynical captions that leave us all wanting more of his comedic prose.

Here are a few of my personal favorites.

The red snow menace who earned himself a shout out:

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A nice afternoon as the only people sledding over 10yo, when, like an unholy din, a red menace washed over the pale white snow, camera in hand. I was a bull driven mad by rouge, and I knew…duel was on. Poor humble Douglas was caught in the crossfire, but friends die all the time in the game of war. It was only after the duel had ended, and the bodies of hundreds of Central Park children lay all around us that I noticed the man wore a #NationalGeographic emblem on his coat. He was a professional. Used to shooting #wildbeasts, my mannerisms must have been familiar to him. And the look of determination in his eye was characteristic of a man who had seen both fear and wonder. We talked after the fight, as duelist's often do, and both held a mutual respect. He was @kikeo, check out his side of the story. #PoorDouglas #PhotoShootoff #Protographer #DuelingInTheBigLeagues #DaddyNeedsANewPairOfShoes #NatiColeGeographic

A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@camera_duels) on

 

The female Zack & Cody who pulled a sneak attack at Shake Shack:

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Eating in public is dangerous when my brother and I are together, mostly because duels are a constant occurrence. Have you ever had a photo taken of you while you were #UvulaDeep in a shake shack burger? No? Well it's #Lovecraftian, and it's something you inherently want to keep out of the private albums of kids with wayyyy too much liberty on #WorldWideWeb. This was the setting of our present duel. Female Zack and Cody here were trying to pull the ol' "casual selfie" technique, one that frames their target in the background of an otherwise Michelin portrait of one's many chins. I'll admit I always feel a bit guilt ridden when dueling children–it's a tad dubious to take the life of a child for social currency. #ItWillEventuallyBecomeNormalThough. They shot, I shot first. And while her back is turned, I'm sure the mother's maternal instincts had alerted her to her childrens' demise. #cameraduels #LittleDutchChildren #TheHaircutTranscendsGenerationGaps #pattyportraiture

A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@camera_duels) on

 

The “fatherless fanatics” who refused to keep their eyes on the road:

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My father once told me that the key to great driving was ensuring the safety of myself and my passengers. Now, behold the fatherless fanatics: car in motion, eyes and hands off the wheel and road. There are times when I am truly in awe of the bravery of human sacrifice. A soldier risks all to save a fallen comrade. A group of righteous protestors fight oppression within a fascist regime. An old woman with dementia walks across a 4 way intersection to the local grocery. THIS, is not one of those times. In fact, a picture of ~a sprouse~ driving a car is so low down the life and limb foodchain, I am almost honored by the attempt. But I digress. You may be asking yourself, "Cole, aren't you taking a picture while driving too?" Yes, yes I certainly am. And typing this caption too. And while I was stopped when I took this, even if I was in motion I had already resigned my existence to another plane. If they play for keeps, so do I. The screaming and giggling that echoed from their car was a grim prologue to an ~auto~biography I should be writing: "I killed two people who probably shouldn't breed anyway," (working title), or at least the opening sequence to "red asphalt 2." Now if they did, indeed, collide with Darwin (because of me) I would have felt a tad guilty, I admit. But to be fair Oprah made us take a pledge for this exact reason, and so I think she should probably feel more ashamed. I hope Satan likes the photo.

A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@camera_duels) on

I commend Sprouse’s ability to poke fun at this unique facet of a life in the limelight. Although there’s the occasional hint of angst in some of his posts, these “battles” all appear to be in good fun — a testimony to Sprouse’s familiarity with fame and his ability to handle stardom with relative grace.

Lili Reinhart, Sprouse’s co-star and rumored girlfriend, was asked in an interview with Ocean Drive about the advice he gave to his cast mates about coping with fame.

“He really brings us down to earth if we’re feeling like something we’ve said is being taken out of context,” she said. “He’s always the one to be like, ‘Just ignore it. It will blow over.’ It’s a nice, calming energy he has because you know that he’s been through it.”

If the anticipation for Season 3 of Riverdale is killing you as much as it is me, and you need some Cole Sprouse in your life, follow @camera_duels on Instagram. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Then catch him as Jughead again this fall! Season 3 premieres October 10th at 8 PM PST.

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